


Hate Mate or Date Mate?

by YouHaveBatBreath (orphan_account)



Series: BatJokes Drabble [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Batjokes, Batman is secretly a romantic, Drabble, Engagement, Everyone is romantic, Happily Ever After, Joker is openly a romantic, M/M, Prompt Fic, Save Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 08:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11398653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/YouHaveBatBreath
Summary: A little Drabble that I vomited out in an hour and a half was inspired by Lego-batjokes-prompts on tumblr!Lego Batjokes Prompt #224“I’M ENGAGED GUYS!!! Look at this shiny little buddy right here! I didn’t even have to steal it.”





	Hate Mate or Date Mate?

**Author's Note:**

> I am babybatjokes on tumblr, but I'm not on there an awful lot, so if you message me it might take a little while for me to reply. 
> 
> You're welcome to give me a personal request tho, if you'd like.

Seeing the skyline of Gotham was beautiful. Seeing it hazy red with smoke and fires from the Joker’s explosions was less than beautiful, but it was all that Batman had to look at at the moment. 

The joker had been on a little explo-spree, and Batman barely was able to pull him out of it before he was blown up himself. Now the villain was tied up behind Batman, both of them perched on the top of Wayne tower as they watched the skyline burn. The police and fire department were already putting out the fires, so Batman didn't feel the need to bother anymore with it, besides he had more important things to deal with.

He turned to the Joker, his eyes narrowing at the clown who was sitting there staring at him innocently, an only slightly insane smile on his face. “Is it too much to ask for you to go one day without blowing something up?” He ground out. 

“Absolutely!” Joker laughed. “You know I can't help it, Batsy, I just love getting you all riled up. Besides its not like those pesky master builders won't have everything back in place in a few weeks anyways.” He pouted, poking out his bottom lip and blinking. “I don't think it's fair if I don't get to blow stuff up every once in a while.”

“Every once in a while isn't a big deal.” Batman snapped. “But every fudging night?” That is not okay.” He paced in front of his bound enemy, glaring at him all the while. “I don't have time to chase you up and down the streets all the time, I have responsibilities in my life now, and I have to take care of them.”

“You mean your bat-family?” Joker said bitter and mockingly. “They need all of your time now?” His eyes widened as if a sudden realization had hit him. “A-are you breaking up with me?”

“Wha- No!” Batman reassured him. “I just need you to cool your jets for a while so I can actually get some rest. It shouldn't be too hard, should it?”

Joker pursed his lips, eyeing Batman with a thoughtful look on his face. “What are you gonna give me if I agree to be good?” He wiggles his eyebrows, his smile returning. 

Batman groaned loudly. “You're so greedy.” He grumbled as he rummaged around in his batpockets for something to placate the clown. His fist came back out clenched tightly. 

“Here.” He said, cutting Joker’s bonds and placing something in his hand. “You like shiny things right? Its kind of plain, but it will have to do.”

Joker opened his hand and he gasped at the little ring sitting in his palm. It was just a little silver band with a tiny chain of diamonds inlaid across the top. If he had chosen the ring it would have been gold with a diamond the size of a peach on it, but this beautiful little thing was just perfect.

“Its not flashy enough.” He complained, but without any real venom in his voice. And anyone could see that he loved it by the way he slipped it on his ring finger and touched it reverently. “It'll do.”

Batman’s exposed mouth gave a slight quirk of a smile. “It looks good on you.” His voice was pure honesty and Joker couldn't help give him a genuine smile. “Now go behave yourself while I get some sleep.”

“Bye-bye, Batsy!” The Joker yelled behind him as he ran for the stairs, giggling maniacally the whole time. 

~ 

Three days. It was three days of peace and quiet before explosions rocked the city again. And this time the Joker didn't get so lucky. 

The riddler had went off on a string by himself and sabotaged one of Joker’s bombs, making it go off before the clown had cleared the blast range. Batman found him laying amidst the rubble, bloody and unconscious, his arm laying at an unnatural angle. He didn't have any choice but to bring the villain back to the bat cave with him. 

He cradled Joker carefully as he carried him out of the Batcave and up to the much more comfortable rooms of Wayne Manor. He didn't bother Alfred except to ask him for a first aid kit and a sling. He was very happy that his green-haired hate-mate didn't wake up when he popped his arm back into its socket. 

He kept his eyes to himself for the sake of Joker’s privacy as he cut away his tattered clothes and dressed him again in loose, soft pajamas. It didn't miss his gaze that the little ring was still snugly wrapped around Joker’s finger. The ring finger of his left hand. Batman liked that. 

He left Alfred to watch over him when he went to shower, and the elderly butler was more than happy to do so, with a taser and a can of mace in his back pocket. 

It was near an hour later when Joker woke up. It was still dark outside, the veil of night casting the room in shadows. At first he didn't know where he was, but then he recognized the old man sitting next to his bed and he remembered. 

“Mr Alfred!” He said happily, sitting up only to lay back down with a groan. “Why am I hurt?”

“Batman saved your life and brought you here.” Alfred explained patiently. “You're to stay in bed until you recover.”

“But I don't want to.” Joker pouted. “I want to go wreak havoc on Gotham.” He pouted again. “Batman’s cheating. He's gonna have to give me more than a silly ring to make up for keeping me here.”

“A ring?” Alfred sounded intrigued, so Joker held out his hand, showing off his jewelry. “Batsy gave it to me.”

“Oh my.” The old butler began laughing. “I must say I didn't see this one coming at all.” He seemed all too happy with himself and Joker didn't like being out of the loop. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked, trying once more to sit up, but still not managing it quite. 

“This ring belonged to Batman’s mother.” Alfred explained, admiring the shiny band on Joker’s hand. “I believe I remember her telling him to give it to the one he planned to marry.”

“M-marry?” Joker’s eyes widened, his mouth gaping. 

“Yes. Honestly, I had hoped it would be Miss Barbara, but it seems he believes you to be his ‘one’.” Alfred smiled at him kindly. “I offer you my congratulations. And my blessing.”

“Marry?” Joker still couldn't get past that. He had barely allowed himself to hope that someday him and Batman could push past their boundaries and enter an actual relationship. He never expected Batman to make the first move. His eyes went misty, making his vision blurry as he looked at the ring. “I'm engaged?” 

~ 

It was days later when Joker was considered good enough to leave Wayne Manor. Batman hadn't come back to visit him, but Joker wasn't too upset about it. 

As soon as he was declared free to go he left. Alfred drove him to the city and he caught a cab to his secret super villain hideout. He burst through the doors with a maniac laugh. 

“I’M ENGAGED GUYS!!!” He announced right off the bat. “Look at this shiny little buddy right here! I didn’t even have to steal it.” He waved his hand around, showing off his pretty ring. His engagement ring. He sighed happily. 

And then he was tackled by a ball of black, white, and red. “Ohmygawsh, Cookie, I’m so happy for ya!” Harley squealed, hugging Joker and spinning around with him in a circle. “So who'ssa lucky girl? Somebody we know?” 

Joker laughed at that, scratching his head because that seems to be the thing to do when one is nervous. “It's actually,... Batman.” He half-smiled at her. “Surprise?” 

Harley smirked and looked over at Pamela. “You owe me ten bucks, babe. I told ya’ll it'd be the Bat that swept Mista J offa his feet.” 

Joker’s smile dropped. “Wait, what?”

“You're totally in love. Everybody sees it.” Everyone agreed with her. 

He shrugged. “Well, whaddya know?”

~

The next time that Joker saw Batman was once again on the rooftops of Gotham, but with Joker backed up against the wall and Batman caging him in. 

“I didn't expect you to figure it out.” Batman’s voice was rough, just as rough as his hands as they grabbed at Joker’s arms. He sounded threatening, but Joker knew it was all embarrassment and his own brand of caring.

Joker laughed, his own hands snaking up the vigilante’s torso and settling on his shoulders. “Shouldn't underestimate me, Batsy baby.” He said, leaning in close to meld his lips against the other man’s for a brief second. “Care to set a date?”


End file.
